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dusk of the gods. Unfortunately, we Southerners did think we were gods.”
“For Heaven’s sake, Ashley Wilkes! Don’t stand there and talk nonsense at me when it’s us whoare going to be winnowed out!”
Something of her exasperated weariness seemed to penetrate his mind, calling it back from itswanderings, for he raised her hands with tenderness and, turning them palm up, looked at thecalluses.
“These are the most beautiful hands I know,” he said and kissed each palm lightly. “They arebeautiful because they are strong and every callus is a medal, Scarlett, every blister an award forbravery and unselfishness. They’ve been roughened for all of us, your father, the girls, Melanie,the baby, the negroes and for me. My dear, I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking, ‘Herestands an impractical fool talking tommyrot about dead gods when living people are in danger.’
Isn’t that true”
She nodded, wishing he would keep on holding her hands forever, but he dropped them.
“And you came to me, hoping I could help you. Well, I can’t.”
His eyes were bitter as he looked toward the axe and the pile of logs.
“My home is gone and all the money that I so took for granted I never realized I had it. And I amfitted for nothing in this world, for the world I belonged in has gone. I can’t help you, Scarlett,except by learning with as good grace as possible to be a clumsy farmer. And that won’t keep Tarafor you. Don’t you think I realize the bitterness of our situation, living here on your charity Oh,yes, Scarlett, your charity. I can never repay you what you’ve done for me and for mine out of thekindness of your heart. I realize it more acutely every day. And every day I see more clearly howhelpless I am to cope with what has come on us all Every day my accursed shrinking fromrealities makes it harder for me to face the new realities. Do you know what I mean”
She nodded. She had no very clear idea what he meant but she clung breathlessly on his words, this was the first time he had ever spoken to her of the things he was thinking when he seemed soremote from her. It excited her as if she were on the brink of a discovery.
“It’s a cursethis not wanting to look on naked realities. Until the war, life was never more realto me than a shadow show on a curtain. And I preferred it so. I do not like the outlines of things tobe too sharp. I like them gently blurred, a little hazy.”
He stopped and smiled faintly, shivering a little as the cold wind went through his thin shirt.
“In other words, Scarlett, I am a coward
leaping nimbly to the floor andgathering up a length of the heavy dusty velvet.
“Dat ain’ needer hyah no dar,” countered Mammy, girding herself for combat “You ain’ got nobizness wid Miss Ellen’s po’teers, juckin’ de poles plum outer de wood, an’ drappin’ dem on deflo’ in de dust. Miss Ellen set gret sto’ by dem po’teers an’ Ah ain’ ‘tendin’ ter have you muss demup dat way.”
Scarlett turned green eyes on Mammy, eyes which were feverishly gay, eyes which looked likethe bad little girl of the good old days Mammy sighed about.
“Scoot up to the attic and get my box of dress patterns, Mammy,” she cried, giving her a slightshove. “I’m going to have a new dress.”
Mammy was torn between indignation at the very idea of her two hundred pounds scootinganywhere, much less to the attic, and the dawning of a horrid suspicion. Quickly she snatched thecurtain lengths from Scarlett, holding them against her monumental, sagging breasts as if theywere holy relics.
“Not outer Miss Ellen’s po’teers is you gwine have a new dress, ef dat’s whut you figgerin’ on.
Not wile Ah got breaf in mah body.
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